*Timewarp*

I've been a nurse now for a full year! Talk about a time warp. My last post was talking about spousal support during my first semester of nursing school. So what happened in the intervening time? Lots of stress in nursing school. Lots of bellyaching over whether I was going to pass this test or that test. When it came down to it, I passed all of my classes and became a new grad nurse. I took a job in a step-down ICU, and two months ago took a position in a full fledged ICU. 

But wait, that's not it! In January, I went back to school for my MSN! I know, right? It's now May 1st, and I've completed my first semester as a masters student and have been a nurse for a full year.

This thing called nursing

Looking back to before I started nursing school, I thought I was prepared. I listened to all those that had come before me, I read the blogs, I scoured the forums and convinced myself that there is no way that nursing school is as hard as these folks make it out to be.

Typing this while on Christmas break after my first semester of clinicals and nursing classes are over, I couldn't have been more wrong. I believe I experienced every single human emotion possible over the last five months. Elation to finally be starting school, terror when I realized I was about to give my first subQ injection, and sadness when my first three clinical assignments never went home to their families. That's to say nothing of the ups and downs of studying, testing, and frantically pressing F5 on my computers keyboard while waiting for grades to be posted.

I did well my first semester in nursing school, I got amazing comments from all my clinical instructors, as well as the clients I cared for. I fell like this first semester was a tremendous learning experience and I did very well. The same cannot be said for my entire cohort however. With the recent difficulty changes to the NCLEX our school, in an effort to maintain their 100% pass rate! upped the difficulty of our theory classes quite significantly. The net result is that of the 68 students that entered the program this fall, only about 40 of us made it through to the spring semester.

I'm experiencing what I can only term as survivors guilt. I want to be elated and overjoyed that I passed my first semester, but it's hard when 3/4 of the people I spent more hours with then my family for the last five months do not get to continue on in the program. With that in mind I feel like I have to temper my personal excitement otherwise I'm rubbing it in their face that they didn't make it.

I had every intention of updating this blog on the regular while in actual nursing school. I found however that by the time clinical research, care plans, homework, studying, and ADLs were completed I didn't have time for anything but a little bit of decompression in front of the television and as much sleep as I could find.

I know my wife reads this blog on occasion, so I want to take a brief moment and thank her for taking care of our three wonderful children and shouldering most of the parenting and household duties while I'm in nursing school. Without her I don't know how I would have made it though this semester. She is there for me during my mini breakdowns and she is there to cheer me on in my successes. I love you hon!

I should mention...

We added our third child to our family back in april. I totally forgot to make a post, but here is a recent pic of her. :)


Aren't baby bums so cute?

Here we go!!

Tuesday the 20th is the first day of "actual" Nursing school, no more pre-reqs, no more non-nursing classes. Clinicals start a few weeks after classes do. I'll be taking OB, Medsurg, Pharm, and of course the clinical course.

I can't wait to get started! It's been such a long journey to get here, there were times I never thought the day would arrive.

Spring Fever

Ahhhhhh!

It's spring! It doesn't suck outside!

Despite having a veritable mountain of school work on my schedule. I've been able to squeeze a couple hours of yard work into my schedule. I decided to grow peppers, tomatoes, and herbs this year. So after many trips to lowes, I am finished! Now all I need to do is throw the plants in the boxes which I'm doing tomorrow.

Be present - Be engaged

When I went back to school I never considered the social aspect of the college experience, I was only thinking that I'm in class to learn a topic, and that's it. Now that I've started the program I'm with people that I will likely see more than my family over the next two years so perhaps I should start to consider it. So this semester I've made a much more conscious effort to socialize with folks and form friendships. I've met some really great people so far, and I'm genuinely happy to have made these connections. For the last two years of school during pre-reqs I've always felt like I was on the outside and separate from the rest of the students. This is the first semester that I have felt present and engaged in a much more fulfilling manner then I have been prior.

If I could offer any advice to someone going back to school at an older age it would be to participate fully. Don't think you can't get involved in student unions because of your age, get involved. The younger students really could give two shits that you're older than them.

I just wish I had learned this lesson sooner!

Client abuse

I overheard something in class the other day while waiting for class to start that has been troubling me greatly. I'm sitting with my headphones on, (music very low so as not to disturb anyone and not so loud that I can not hear) and I overhear the two girls talking about working a shift at a facility that cares for mentally impaired patients. One of the girls is relating a story of feeding a 30s something woman that has some sort of degenerative neurological disorder. This client through the relation of her story was or is apparently a lesbian. The girl telling the story goes on to say that this client doesn't want to eat quite often. 

These were her words. "So she is not eating again, and I get this idea, right? I tell her that she should just imagine that its a pussy and go to town. And she totally does! it was hilarious." 

Shocking disbelief was my first reaction followed closely by disgust that this girl is going to be a nurse. A patient advocate for people that can't or won't advocate for themselves. How in the hell can someone that is going to take on that role, be actively abusing clients. I'm at a loss for what to do. My information is hearsay, she could have made it up to tell a "funny" story, and who would I even tell?

Anyway, I just felt the need to vent to someone other than my wife!